Will and Cher's top 10 Travel Tips for touring around South America by bus

1. Try not to step in dog poo before you get on a long bus trip.  This is bad news for you and those seated around you.
2. Mosquito bites with black spots might not be really bad mosquito bites.  If you look really closely, they might be ticks.
3. Speaking of mosquitoes: even if you have a mosquito net, if you you don't want mosquito bites all over your ass, don't sleep naked.
4. It is OK to swim in a river with piranha, caiman, and/or vicious river otters as long as a guide is watching.  What could possibly go wrong?
5. When zombies take over and humans retreat to the jungle, Will thinks only those who eat grubs will survive.  However, actually there are plenty of fish.
6. If someone is trying to sell you something and they want to speak to you in English but the only words they seem to know are "special price" you can be pretty sure it is not actually a special price.
7. You do not HAVE to wear the same clothes for a week in a row, Will.
8. If you have a small bladder you should just visit the bathroom at every opportunity you get. "Just in case" like my mom used to tell me when I was a kid.
9. If you are going to get on a bus ride that is 20 hours or more you need to be capable of being very lazy.
10. If it is too hot to do anything in the afternoon, don't.  Just have a cold drink or two.  It will make everything better.
11. And if you are too cold at night it is VERY helpful to have a partner who somehow keeps an internal body temperature like that of magma.  Otherwise, sleep in your fleece.